Helping Romance Scam Victims Requires a Proactive Approach TechTarget and Informa Tech’s Digital Business Combine.TechTarget and InformaTechTarget and Informa Tech’s Digital Business Combine.Together, we power an unparalleled network of 220+ online properties covering 10,000+ granular topics, serving an audience of 50+ million professionals with original, objective content from trusted sources. We help you gain critical insights and make more informed decisions across your business priorities.Dark Reading Resource LibraryBlack Hat NewsOmdia CybersecurityAdvertiseNewsletter Sign-UpNewsletter Sign-UpCybersecurity TopicsRelated TopicsApplication SecurityCybersecurity CareersCloud SecurityCyber RiskCyberattacks & Data BreachesCybersecurity AnalyticsCybersecurity OperationsData PrivacyEndpoint SecurityICS/OT SecurityIdentity & Access Mgmt SecurityInsider ThreatsIoTMobile SecurityPerimeterPhysical SecurityRemote WorkforceThreat IntelligenceVulnerabilities & ThreatsRecent in Cybersecurity TopicsСloud SecurityHackers Use AI for Exploit Development, Attack AutomationHackers Use AI for Exploit Development, Attack AutomationbyAlexander CulafiMay 11, 20264 Min ReadСloud SecurityAfter Replacing TeamPCP Malware, 'PCPJack' Steals Cloud SecretsAfter Replacing TeamPCP Malware, 'PCPJack' Steals Cloud SecretsbyNate NelsonMay 7, 20265 Min ReadWorld Related TopicsDR GlobalMiddle East & AfricaAsia PacificLatin AmericaSee AllThe EdgeDR TechnologyEventsRelated TopicsUpcoming EventsPodcastsWebinarsSEE ALLResourcesRelated TopicsResource LibraryNewslettersPodcastsReportsVideosWebinarsWhite Papers Partner PerspectivesDark Reading Resource LibraryCybersecurity OperationsCyber RiskCybersecurity In-Depth: Feature articles on security strategy, latest trends, and people to know.Helping Romance Scam Victims Requires a Proactive, Empathic ApproachPeople targeted by confidence schemes find getting help is a lonely road. Experts want law enforcement, financial, and government institutions to work together and protect them.Bree Fowler,Contributing WriterApril 24, 20265 Min ReadSource: Chih Chung Johnny Chang via Alamy Stock PhotoBy the time Ayleen Charlotte realized what had happened, she was broke, in debt, and didn't know what to do.Her boyfriend of well over a year was Shimon Hayut, the infamous "Tinder Swindler," and she was one of many women he had scammed out of nearly everything they had. The women were victims of a "pig-butchering" scam, a type of social engineering campaign in which the criminal spends months building trust with the target — just as a farmer takes time to fatten a pig before slaughter — before bilking them for large sums of money. Charlotte turned to law enforcement for help but had to visit four different police stations before she found someone who would take her report. They said there was little they could do because she gave him the money willingly. In addition, her financial institutions told her it was her fault for getting scammed. One even recommended that she sell her house to clear her debts.Related:RSAC 2026: How AI Is Reshaping Cybersecurity Faster Than Ever"This is not what you want to hear when you are crying for help," Charlotte told an audience at the recent RSAC Conference in San Francisco. Charlotte had known it would be tough to bring Hayut to justice, but the lack of empathy from everyone she asked for help was soul-crushing, she said. The feelings of shame and blame she felt from those who should have been helping her made her feel like she was being victimized all over again.As a result of her experience, Charlotte researched the psychology of fraud and founded Scam Awareness and Fraud Education (SAFE). The nonprofit advises financial institutions, law enforcement, regulators, and organizations on how to work with scam victims with empathy, in hopes that they’ll be treated better than she was. Charlotte was among a handful of speakers at RSAC Conference this year discussing how cybersecurity professionals can help address the growing threat of romance and other kinds of pig-butchering scams. Organizations are increasingly investing in anti-fraud technologies, but they also need to improve employee training on how to support scam victims."You need to create a culture that puts the victim in the center," Charlotte said.Millions Lost Every YearDespite a growing awareness of romance and pig-butchering scams, countless people are still being defrauded by them. The FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center received 23,159 reports of confidence or romance scams, according to its 2025 annual Internet Crime Report. A total of 72,984 investment scam complaints in 2025 resulted in a massive $8.65 billion in losses. Related:Human vs. AI: Debates Shape RSAC 2026 Cybersecurity TrendsThe vast majority of pig-butchering scams go unreported, so the numbers reflect only a small fraction of incidents and the money lost.Not all pig-butchering scams involve romance. In many cases, scammers will reach out online and form relationships with targets that, while not romantic, build enough trust to dupe them into scams like fake investment schemes.According to Erin West, founder of the nonprofit Operation Shamrock, attackers are exploiting people's desire for companionship and connection. People are still willing to click on a text from someone offering friendship, even if it is an unknown sender, or to connect with people in a mutual social media group—and scammers know that."The enemy has picked this scam strategically," West said during her own RSAC talk. "They know that what we need right now more than anything is companionship." West, a former prosecutor for California's Santa Clara County, created Operation Shamrock to bring together law enforcement, technologists, and financial leaders to disrupt pig-butchering scams run from Southeast Asia. The fact that these scams are run from boiler rooms abroad adds to the difficulty in tracking and prosecuting the swindlers. All Kinds of People Are SusceptibleSenior citizens, who may not be as tech savvy as younger people and are often alone, have long been considered susceptible to these kinds of scams. Related:Geopolitics, AI, and Cybersecurity: Insights From RSAC 2026This is why financial institutions can, and should, play a key role in protecting the elderly from scammers, said Rick Swenson, managing director, enterprise fraud management at investment company TIAA. However, he acknowledged that it can be tough. During an RSAC presentation with Lisa Plaggemier, executive director of the National Cybersecurity Alliance, Swenson recounted how difficult it was to protect an 87-year-old widow trying to move $250,000 out of her retirement account for an "investment" opportunity. TIAA had determined that she was being scammed and knew she had already transferred $400,000 from accounts at other financial institutions abroad. But when TIAA stopped the $250,000 transfer, she was very angry and refused to believe them, Swenson said. It took three-and-a-half weeks, along with in-person visits from personnel from adult protective services, the local sheriff's department, and the FBI, to finally convince her."So it's one thing to detect a scam," Swenson said. "It's quite another to prevent a loss in that circumstance."TIAA and the National Cybersecurity Alliance created the "Then & Now" initiative, which includes an online curriculum, printed workbook, and volunteer toolkit, all designed to keep older adults safe online.The focus cannot be just on the elderly; ultimately, the scammers are after "anyone with a cellphone and a wallet," West said.Shifting to an Empathy-First ApproachPreventing scams needs to be a "team sport," involving not just banks but also telecommunications companies to improve at blocking scam calls and texts from reaching victims. Regulators like the Federal Trade Commission need to use their authority to crack down on scammers who abuse telecom networks to carry out their activities.West acknowledged that cybersecurity professionals may feel confident they would never fall for these types of confidence scams, but they should not dismiss their seriousness. "It's happening to your next-door neighbor. It's happening to your friends," West said.Swenson and West echoed Charlotte's view that the needs and well-being of victims must always come first.Making victims feel stupid for being scammed doesn't help get them out of the situation, West said. "The best way to do that is with empathy," he said.About the AuthorBree FowlerContributing WriterBree Fowler writes about cybersecurity and digital privacy. Previously, she was a senior writer for CNET. Prior to joining CNET, she reported for The Associated Press and Consumer Reports. A Michigan native, she's a long-suffering Detroit sports fan, world traveler, three-star world marathoner, and champion baker of over-the-top birthday cakes and all things sourdough.See more from Bree FowlerWant more Dark Reading stories in your Google search results?Add Us NowMore InsightsIndustry ReportsHow Enterprises Are Developing Secure ApplicationsInside RSAC 2026: security leaders reveal the risks redefining your defense strategyHow Enterprises Are Harnessing Emerging Technologies in CybersecurityDitch the Data Center: Understanding Flexible Cloud Infrastructure Security Management2025 State of MalwareAccess More ResearchWebinarsThe New Attack Surface: How Attackers Are Exploiting OAuth to Own Your Cloud WorkspacePrompt Injection Is Just the Start: Securing LLMs in AI SystemsAnatomy of a Data Breach: What to Do if it Happens to YouHow Well Can You See What's in Your Cloud?Implementing CTEM: Beyond Vulnerability ManagementMore WebinarsEdge PicksApplication SecurityAI Agents in Browsers Light on Cybersecurity, Bypass ControlsAI Agents in Browsers Light on Cybersecurity, Bypass ControlsCyber RiskBrowser Extensions Pose Heightened, but Manageable, Security RisksBrowser Extensions Pose Heightened, but Manageable, Security RisksLatest Articles in The EdgeCyber RiskResearch Hub Bridges Cybersecurity Gap for Under-Resourced OrganizationsMay 5, 2026|4 Min ReadCyber RiskElectricity Is a Growing Area of Cyber-RiskApr 22, 2026|5 Min ReadVulnerabilities & ThreatsNIST Revamps CVE Framework to Focus on High-Impact VulnerabilitiesApr 16, 2026|4 Min ReadСloud SecurityWhy Orgs Need to Test Networks to Withstand DDoS Attacks During Peak LoadsApr 13, 2026|2 Min ReadRead More The EdgeWant more Dark Reading stories in your Google search results?Black Hat Asia | Marina Bay Sands, SingaporeExperience cutting-edge cybersecurity insights in this four-day event. 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Combating romance scams necessitates a proactive and empathetic approach, moving beyond traditional law enforcement responses. According to Bree Fowler, reporting from TechTarget and Informa Tech’s Digital Business Combine, the core issue lies in the devastating impact of these scams on victims – often leaving them financially ruined and emotionally distressed. The prevalent “pig-butchering” scam, where criminals meticulously build trust over months before extracting funds, highlights the psychological manipulation involved. Key figures like Ayleen Charlotte, a victim of the infamous “Tinder Swindler,” Shimon Hayut, emphasize the shame and blame experienced by victims when seeking help, a sentiment that hinders effective support. To address this, organizations such as Scam Awareness and Fraud Education (SAFE) founded by Charlotte, advocate for institutions—including financial institutions, law enforcement, and regulators—to prioritize empathy when dealing with victims. The FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center reports significant financial losses – $8.65 billion in 2025— stemming from confidence and romance scams, with the vast majority of these incidents unreported. Erin West, founder of Operation Shamrock, stresses the exploitation of people’s desire for connection and companionship, often targeting vulnerable populations like senior citizens, who may be less tech-savvy. Rick Swenson, Managing Director at TIAA, underscores the difficulty in preventing losses, particularly when victims have already transferred significant sums to fraudulent accounts. The “Then & Now” initiative developed by TIAA and the National Cybersecurity Alliance demonstrates a commitment to proactive education and support. A collaborative, “team sport” approach involving telecommunications companies and regulators is crucial to mitigating scam risks. The emphasis, according to Swenson and West, is that the needs and wellbeing of victims must come first, challenging a reactive, blame-focused mindset. Ultimately, the fight against these scams requires a collective effort to protect individuals, recognizing that "anyone with a cellphone and a wallet" is a potential target.